








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2144 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1438 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1100 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,415 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nathyg0d | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Estrogen consumer | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 60% | 90 |
| #4 | medium gary | 59% | 100 |
| #5 | Blackberry | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | vdM | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Estrogen consumer | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | TOXONIO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Blackberry | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | medium gary | 508 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 265 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | vdM | 215 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | nathyg0d | 133 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | TOXONIO | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Estrogen consumer | +5.75 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | nathyg0d | +5.10 | 97 | 53 |
| #3 | medium gary | +3.19 | 82 | 61 |
| #4 | Diddle | +1.69 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | TOXONIO | +0.97 | 68 | 53 |





