








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2458 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2333 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2225 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,637 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | JTA | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | h4byn | 53% | 17 |
| #10 | Entasi | 53% | 51 |
| #11 | toast | 50% | 24 |
| #12 | p0wer | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entasi | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | m1xtape | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | redd. | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Blizzard | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Chase | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entasi | 289 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | redd. | 227 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Blizzard | 226 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #4 | m1xtape | 197 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chase | 141 | 0.22 | 4 min |





