








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3498 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2432 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1545 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,466 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DⱫ₳ddy 𝐌ɛch♛ | 90% | 29 |
| #2 | ZzeKaFtaC | 88% | 26 |
| #3 | hunter | 88% | 16 |
| #4 | nashc | 87% | 23 |
| #5 | s1lver | 86% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkLegacy | 573 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | InSAniTy | 377 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sr.Jumpalot | 133 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | s1lver | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jaximus | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | +6.13 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | xrx: | +3.80 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | InSAniTy | +3.09 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | hunter | +2.66 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | ZzeKaFtaC | +2.63 | 90 | 45 |





