








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 915 | 36% |
| Smokes | 599 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 410 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,326 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRENzY | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | tomoe | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Scritt | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | fartpoop | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | undefine | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRENzY | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | tomoe | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Scritt | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | fartpoop | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | undefine | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRENzY | 4 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | undefine | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Scritt | 3 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | fartpoop | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | tomoe | 2 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | undefine | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | fRENzY | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Scritt | 50 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #4 | fartpoop | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | tomoe | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomoe | +3.87 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | fRENzY | +2.91 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | viper_king | +1.52 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | fartpoop | +1.37 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Scritt | +0.93 | 69 | 59 |





