








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1530 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,966 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 50% | 82 |
| #7 | Azzeon | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | HailHeretic | 48% | 42 |
| #9 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | 47% | 148 |
| #10 | mudinator | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YangleDOb | 173 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 152 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | mudinator | 92 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | DIE FOR ISRAEL | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ur Trash | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DIE FOR ISRAEL | +5.50 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | Punderino | +3.96 | 81 | 27 |
| #3 | YangleDOb | +1.93 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Azzeon | +0.63 | 56 | 17 |
| #5 | Ur Trash | +0.17 | 56 | 37 |





