








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1577 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 941 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,132 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | Punderino | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | I SMOKE ICE | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | Punderino | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | I SMOKE ICE | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | 32% | 31 |
| #5 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I SMOKE ICE | 13 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | 8 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Punderino | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Punderino | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #3 | I SMOKE ICE | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punderino | +5.75 | 79 | 27 |
| #2 | I SMOKE ICE | +4.77 | 73 | 23 |
| #3 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | +1.07 | 39 | 56 |
| #4 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | -0.69 | 39 | 19 |
| #5 | 1933 Fuller Dymaxion | -0.95 | 48 | 9 |





