








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1094 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1282 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,076 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Punderino | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | yerk | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Punderino | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | yerk | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 7 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Punderino | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | yerk | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yerk | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Punderino | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM SO HOOD 30 INCHS ON THE CHEVY | +2.03 | 72 | 25 |
| #2 | YangleDOb | +1.48 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | Punderino | +0.32 | 72 | 27 |
| #4 | 我喜欢吃猫和狗 | -0.99 | 44 | 61 |
| #5 | yerk | -3.16 | 40 | 52 |





