








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5839 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6061 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3300 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2890 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,814 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlipzi | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | murf | 51% | 72 |
| #3 | Netscape | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | n0MAD | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | ヤESOR | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | murf | 51% | 72 |
| #3 | Netscape | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | n0MAD | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | ヤESOR | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Myatic Supreme | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murf | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | n0MAD | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Netscape | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murf | 198 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Qlipzi | 192 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | n0MAD | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Netscape | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Myatic Supreme | 23 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murf | +2.24 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Netscape | +1.63 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | +1.40 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | n0MAD | +0.80 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | mattybur | -0.22 | 76 | 68 |





