








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 239 | 23% |
| Smokes | 282 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 277 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 243 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,545 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | 50% | 10 |
| #13 | MasenFlösen | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | Striep | 42% | 12 |
| #15 | JustinTime | 33% | 6 |
| #16 | Kaver | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Striep | 3 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Laura53Hugo | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Kaver | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Mülltonne | 1 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | BEAR,VODKA,STALINGRAD | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laura53Hugo | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | MasenFlösen | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Kype | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | caz1e | 17 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caz1e | +6.30 | 72 | 20 |
| #2 | Kype | +4.33 | 90 | 45 |
| #3 | give kalash | +4.24 | 54 | 47 |
| #4 | Mülltonne | +4.18 | 62 | 43 |
| #5 | Laizy | +3.12 | 87 | 48 |





