








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1141 | 31% |
| Smokes | 834 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,702 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | bozo | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | busE | 43% | 30 |
| #12 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 41% | 34 |
| #13 | Faust | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faust | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 8 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Monke | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Kobey | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Craiz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craiz | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Monke | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Faust | 101 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cancer Strike 2 | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kobey | 58 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobey | +3.68 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | Faust | +1.70 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | +1.61 | 76 | 40 |
| #4 | bozo | +1.25 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | eVisper | +1.03 | 94 | 10 |





