








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4583 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4393 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4378 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5197 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,463,665 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ridic | 58% | 110 |
| #2 | Helmut +} | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | G0Dt3x | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | RuffingtoN- | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | EGO`8 | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bLaZe | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Potato | 46% | 297 |
| #10 | Craiz | 46% | 174 |
| #11 | vic | 44% | 98 |
| #12 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuffingtoN- | 13 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Jolly Roger | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ridic | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | vic | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ApexCritz | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolly Roger | 256 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ApexCritz | 241 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ridic | 191 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Craiz | 189 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | EGO`8 | 177 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolly Roger | +4.43 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | G0Dt3x | +4.10 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | ApexCritz | +2.72 | 86 | 48 |
| #4 | RuffingtoN- | +2.22 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | EGO`8 | +2.11 | 68 | 78 |





