








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2358 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3241 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2933 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,788,165 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEFINE | 83% | 46 |
| #2 | GurgamelFU | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | BobaFEET | 51% | 537 |
| #4 | Darius | 45% | 130 |
| #5 | Cristan Ronald suuwi | 42% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEFINE | 83% | 46 |
| #2 | GurgamelFU | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | BobaFEET | 51% | 537 |
| #4 | Darius | 45% | 130 |
| #5 | Cristan Ronald suuwi | 42% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cristan Ronald suuwi | 51 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | BobaFEET | 46 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Darius | 32 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | GurgamelFU | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | DEFINE | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaFEET | 956 | 0.09 | 27 min |
| #2 | Cristan Ronald suuwi | 392 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Darius | 258 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | GurgamelFU | 198 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | DEFINE | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaFEET | +2.94 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | DEFINE | +2.17 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | summer | -0.01 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | GurgamelFU | -0.22 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Cristan Ronald suuwi | -1.89 | 65 | 48 |





