










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1549 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1835 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,124 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fern | 17 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Woapalana | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | RunicTie | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | JustACh1cken | 5 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | McTash | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woapalana | 172 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | RunicTie | 80 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | McTash | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | AncientBeast | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fern | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fern | +3.82 | 77 | 41 |
| #2 | Lawly (Cache pleasure-seeker) | +3.13 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | RunicTie | +2.92 | 90 | 65 |
| #4 | Ol'Bill | +2.10 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | McTash | +0.37 | 62 | 58 |





