








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1812 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13202 | 51% |
| Smokes | 4587 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4199 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4104 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,678,091 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1698 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gree | 53% | 107 |
| #2 | Sylent | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 44 |
| #4 | Woapalana | 45% | 109 |
| #5 | Cheese.jpg | 39% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Woapalana | 45% | 109 |
| #5 | Cheese.jpg | 39% | 170 |
| #6 | Octave | 38% | 154 |
| #7 | Chicken Caesar | 37% | 100 |
| #8 | goldenblackfox | 32% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese.jpg | 38 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Woapalana | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Chicken Caesar | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | goldenblackfox | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Octave | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese.jpg | 1101 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #2 | Octave | 581 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sylent | 478 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #4 | Gree | 187 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Woapalana | 176 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.54 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | McTash | +1.88 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | Sylent | +1.77 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | Chicken Caesar | -0.33 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | Gree | -0.71 | 65 | 47 |





