








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 390 | 29% |
| Smokes | 123 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,259 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Comrade Crisp | 42% | 99 |
| #11 | Zuke | 39% | 51 |
| #12 | Plain Lane | 32% | 22 |
| #13 | Real Ted Cruz | 27% | 15 |
| #14 | Real Donald J. Trump | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Off The Blinkin Park | 19 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Comrade Crisp | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ItFeelsGoodMan | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Zuke | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Gooch | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shapes and stuff | +10.66 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | BOT Sadwater | +5.13 | 47 | 22 |
| #3 | Gooch | +3.24 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | Tendies | +2.00 | 44 | 32 |
| #5 | ItFeelsGoodMan | +1.00 | 37 | 27 |





