








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4638 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4458 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3139 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4319 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,125 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rKHJ' | 63% | 70 |
| #2 | AzL | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Akira Shirase | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | croCc | 50% | 404 |
| #5 | dstyLe | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Akira Shirase | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | croCc | 50% | 404 |
| #5 | dstyLe | 47% | 51 |
| #6 | SLOWLYj | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | alex | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | croCc | 26 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | AzL | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | dstyLe | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Akira Shirase | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | rKHJ' | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | croCc | 433 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | SLOWLYj | 336 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #3 | alex | 225 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | rKHJ' | 199 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | dstyLe | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Roca | +2.66 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | alex | +1.51 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | AzL | -0.36 | 49 | 58 |
| #4 | rKHJ' | -1.20 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | SLOWLYj | -1.21 | 66 | 77 |





