








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1518 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1507 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2827 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2288 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,764,962 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rKHJ' | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Akira Shirase | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | ☯ Roca | 50% | 404 |
| #4 | dstyLe | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | SLOWLYj | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Akira Shirase | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | ☯ Roca | 50% | 404 |
| #4 | dstyLe | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | SLOWLYj | 41% | 59 |
| #6 | alex | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Roca | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | dstyLe | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Akira Shirase | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | rKHJ' | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | SLOWLYj | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Roca | 1355 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | SLOWLYj | 380 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | alex | 263 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | dstyLe | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | rKHJ' | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Roca | +2.41 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | alex | +1.01 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | SLOWLYj | -1.01 | 67 | 77 |
| #4 | croCc | -1.18 | 52 | 40 |
| #5 | rKHJ' | -1.31 | 61 | 65 |





