








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2615 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1829 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 555 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1315 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,344 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddktioN | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | SLOWLYj | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | ☯ Roca | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | croCc | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddktioN | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | SLOWLYj | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | ☯ Roca | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | croCc | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | croCc | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | SLOWLYj | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLOWLYj | 340 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | ☯ Roca | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | croCc | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ddktioN | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddktioN | +2.62 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | alex | +1.02 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | ☯ Roca | +0.38 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | SLOWLYj | -1.03 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | croCc | -2.60 | 46 | 44 |





