








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4199 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3834 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3968 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,433 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coaran | 52% | 97 |
| #2 | Guffs | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | sander | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | CruñCher yao | 48% | 314 |
| #5 | jonox | 47% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruñCher yao | 30 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Coaran | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | jonox | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Daithí | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | sander | 4 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruñCher yao | 1216 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | jonox | 427 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Coaran | 235 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | sander | 168 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | Daithí | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sander | +2.91 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Guffs | +1.63 | 65 | 35 |
| #3 | jonox | +0.29 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | Jiffy | +0.25 | 53 | 63 |
| #5 | CruñCher yao | +0.04 | 37 | 69 |





