








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2098 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1849 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3184 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3036 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,240 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonox | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | I swear its not a bomb | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | Green Tea & Saunakinkku | 48% | 99 |
| #4 | FULL TILT | 47% | 106 |
| #5 | Jiffy | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruñCher yao | 335 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jiffy | 273 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | FULL TILT | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | DeathByLEDs | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | jonox | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonox | +1.58 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | FULL TILT | +1.49 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | I swear its not a bomb | +1.08 | 30 | 40 |
| #4 | Green Tea & Saunakinkku | +1.08 | 51 | 43 |
| #5 | Jiffy | +1.06 | 52 | 66 |





