








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1969 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1732 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1433 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1606 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,561 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiffy | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | CruñCher yao | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Coaran | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Guffs | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Daithí | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruñCher yao | 767 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jiffy | 606 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Coaran | 261 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | sander | 188 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #5 | Daithí | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sander | +3.03 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | Guffs | +1.20 | 61 | 35 |
| #3 | Jiffy | +0.58 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | jonox | +0.02 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Daithí | -0.21 | 50 | 59 |





