








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4892 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4065 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3862 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4335 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,905 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Trixx- | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | GTR | 53% | 139 |
| #6 | Norbert | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | Bukatyr | 46% | 106 |
| #8 | Ferko | 45% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR | 17 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Ferko | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Disabled MARA | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Bukatyr | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Norbert | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ferko | 785 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Bukatyr | 582 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | Disabled MARA | 397 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | GTR | 236 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Norbert | 148 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trixx- | +2.50 | 65 | 24 |
| #2 | ^TheGoldenOne | +1.39 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Disabled MARA | +1.10 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | Bukatyr | +0.29 | 54 | 78 |
| #5 | GTR | -0.23 | 75 | 60 |





