








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4469 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3139 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4186 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3193 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,472 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracoolak | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | ^TheGoldenOne | 55% | 143 |
| #3 | Bukatyr | 50% | 147 |
| #4 | Norbert | 48% | 148 |
| #5 | GTR | 47% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Norbert | 48% | 148 |
| #5 | GTR | 47% | 200 |
| #6 | SVRNKVINCO | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | IGIS | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | Ferko | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Bukatyr | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Norbert | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ^TheGoldenOne | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ferko | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bukatyr | 771 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | Norbert | 402 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | ^TheGoldenOne | 317 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | GTR | 286 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ferko | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracoolak | +2.23 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | Disabled MARA | +1.11 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | ^TheGoldenOne | +0.85 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Bukatyr | +0.05 | 54 | 77 |
| #5 | Norbert | -0.04 | 56 | 60 |





