








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3877 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4368 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3527 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2790 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,308 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ^TheGoldenOne | 45% | 254 |
| #3 | Bukatyr | 43% | 67 |
| #4 | GTR | 41% | 87 |
| #5 | Disabled MARA | 41% | 68 |
| #6 | Norbert | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^TheGoldenOne | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | GTR | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Norbert | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Disabled MARA | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Bukatyr | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^TheGoldenOne | 625 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bukatyr | 382 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | Disabled MARA | 202 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | GTR | 128 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Norbert | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^TheGoldenOne | +1.40 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | Disabled MARA | +1.25 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | Bukatyr | +0.05 | 49 | 79 |
| #4 | GTR | -0.06 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Norbert | -0.54 | 63 | 55 |





