








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1300 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1995 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1721 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,457 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bukatyr | 48% | 66 |
| #2 | Disabled MARA | 48% | 148 |
| #3 | ^TheGoldenOne | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | IGIS | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | asdwadawdadawa ? | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IGIS | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | asdwadawdadawa ? | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | GTR | 44% | 100 |
| #7 | SVRNKVINCO | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | Ferko | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ^TheGoldenOne | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Ferko | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Disabled MARA | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | SVRNKVINCO | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disabled MARA | 398 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bukatyr | 321 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | GTR | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ferko | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ^TheGoldenOne | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disabled MARA | +1.73 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | ^TheGoldenOne | +1.00 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | asdwadawdadawa ? | +0.16 | 49 | 60 |
| #4 | IGIS | +0.07 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | GTR | -0.02 | 76 | 58 |





