








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 809 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 358 | 8% |
| Smokes | 819 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1526 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,986 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lubco | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Purple | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | FakeAir | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | Mecej.777 | 47% | 92 |
| #5 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | NAMASTE | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Mecej.777 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Purple | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | The Art of Law | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxycek | +1.15 | 44 | 41 |
| #2 | NAMASTE | +1.02 | 45 | 49 |
| #3 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | +0.78 | 57 | 38 |
| #4 | Drevené Ruky | +0.77 | 44 | 65 |
| #5 | Purple | +0.67 | 56 | 56 |





