










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 291 | 11% |
| Smokes | 716 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,672 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxycek | 47% | 55 |
| #2 | NAMASTE | 45% | 106 |
| #3 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | The Art of Law | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Mecej.777 | 41% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | NAMASTE | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Purple | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Mecej.777 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Toxycek | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mecej.777 | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | NAMASTE | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Art of Law | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMASTE | +2.53 | 50 | 48 |
| #2 | Toxycek | +2.51 | 42 | 41 |
| #3 | Purple | +1.91 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | dont aww me, im a gangsta | +1.83 | 59 | 43 |
| #5 | lubco | +0.41 | 37 | 38 |





