








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5246 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3259 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4280 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3451 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,973 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noyuh | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Netscape | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | blue collar worker | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | mikey | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noyuh | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Netscape | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | blue collar worker | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | mikey | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Netscape | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Noyuh | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 308 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | Noyuh | 240 | 0.56 | 7 min |
| #3 | mikey | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | blue collar worker | 53 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Netscape | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Netscape | +0.55 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | blue collar worker | +0.24 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | +0.10 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Senpai Notice Me | +0.04 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Noyuh | -1.18 | 67 | 75 |





