








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 20% |
| Smokes | 542 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,910 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuicySplash | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Senpaii | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Jsmityy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Senpai Notice Me | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Big Boy | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jsmityy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Senpai Notice Me | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Big Boy | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | mikey | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | Tanner Spreckel | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jsmityy | 2 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | JuicySplash | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Tanner Spreckel | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senpai Notice Me | 116 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tanner Spreckel | 53 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Senpaii | 52 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | mikey | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jsmityy | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senpaii | +2.95 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Senpai Notice Me | +0.65 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | blue collar worker | +0.60 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | JuicySplash | +0.05 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | Jsmityy | -0.67 | 77 | 36 |





