








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 8% |
| Smokes | 233 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 354 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,371 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slobbedobb | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Rogerstein | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Heden | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | one big joke! | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Ta Ko | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Heden | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | one big joke! | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Ta Ko | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Kriss | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | TakOsten | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | one big joke! | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Heden | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Kriss | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Rogerstein | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriss | 147 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Heden | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ta Ko | 68 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | TakOsten | 66 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | one big joke! | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriss | +2.48 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | TakOsten | +2.22 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | Ta Ko | +2.15 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | Rogerstein | +1.19 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Heden | -0.02 | 84 | 60 |





