








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 118 | 19% |
| Smokes | 228 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 85 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,017 of utility $275 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TakOsten | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Kriss | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | one big joke! | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Heden | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kriss | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | one big joke! | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Heden | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | Ta Ko | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | one big joke! | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Heden | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heden | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kriss | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | one big joke! | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ta Ko | 50 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | TakOsten | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TakOsten | +4.36 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | Ta Ko | +2.63 | 75 | 78 |
| #3 | Kriss | +2.20 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | Rogerstein | +1.18 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Heden | -0.79 | 83 | 62 |





