








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 24% |
| Smokes | 671 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 459 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 362 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,795 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slobbedobb | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Rogerstein | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | one big joke! | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Kriss | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | one big joke! | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Kriss | 44% | 45 |
| #6 | Ta Ko | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | TakOsten | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrispY Beetlejuice's manager | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | one big joke! | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kriss | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Rogerstein | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriss | 174 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | one big joke! | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ta Ko | 84 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | TakOsten | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rogerstein | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ta Ko | +2.73 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | Kriss | +2.32 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | TakOsten | +2.19 | 80 | 79 |
| #4 | Rogerstein | +1.18 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Heden | -0.20 | 84 | 61 |





