








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 933 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6023 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5526 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3854 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4277 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,231 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Rev1[21]e | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | ha | 78% | 202 |
| #3 | Craigfish (selling skins) | 77% | 119 |
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | 77% | 44 |
| #5 | Kevin ™ | 75% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | 77% | 44 |
| #5 | Kevin ™ | 75% | 28 |
| #6 | Dykie | 74% | 39 |
| #7 | Sandels | 55% | 33 |
| #8 | Lvbster | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | 59 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Craigfish (selling skins) | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Lord Rev1[21]e | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Sandels | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | 686 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Craigfish (selling skins) | 311 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lvbster | 185 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | 183 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dykie | 182 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | +3.94 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | yellow flash | +2.69 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Lord Rev1[21]e | +2.16 | 90 | 54 |
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | +2.07 | 66 | 42 |
| #5 | Kevin ™ | +1.03 | 79 | 61 |





