








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4627 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5639 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1586 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2110 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,013,451 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silky Johnson | 51% | 381 |
| #2 | Rock Hard | 50% | 430 |
| #3 | toob | 46% | 235 |
| #4 | Wangus | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silky Johnson | 51% | 381 |
| #2 | Rock Hard | 50% | 430 |
| #3 | toob | 46% | 235 |
| #4 | Wangus | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rock Hard | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | toob | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Wangus | 6 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toob | 758 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | 628 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 360 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wangus | 296 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | +1.97 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | +0.98 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | toob | +0.26 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | Wangus | -0.01 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | Rock Hard | -4.26 | 27 | 40 |





