








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2651 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6683 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 2383 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,473,355 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeatMeat1x | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | bonk | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 51% | 490 |
| #4 | Mxgabyte | 51% | 381 |
| #5 | toob | 50% | 371 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bonk | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 51% | 490 |
| #4 | Mxgabyte | 51% | 381 |
| #5 | toob | 50% | 371 |
| #6 | Wangus | 37% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | bonk | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | toob | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Wangus | 8 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | 1632 | 0.20 | 50 min |
| #2 | toob | 1189 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 406 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wangus | 364 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #5 | bonk | 236 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | +2.26 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | bonk | +2.17 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Silky Johnson | +1.14 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | toob | +0.38 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Wangus | -0.33 | 45 | 58 |





