








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 34% |
| Smokes | 693 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,047 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | 42% | 62 |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | 37% | 81 |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 37% | 81 |
| #4 | toob | 22% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | 42% | 62 |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | 37% | 81 |
| #3 | Rock Hard | 37% | 81 |
| #4 | toob | 22% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silky Johnson | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Rock Hard | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Mxgabyte | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | toob | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | 276 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | toob | 140 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Silky Johnson | 121 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rock Hard | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxgabyte | +1.29 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | Silky Johnson | +0.55 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Wangus | -0.61 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | toob | -1.01 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Rock Hard | -4.18 | 19 | 34 |





