








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 205 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2904 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1394 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 5739 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 1148 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,723,191 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamie- | 22 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | R41M3 ☕ | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | nice | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Shrubby | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | HappyDuckss | 4 | 0.0007 |





