








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 37% |
| Smokes | 681 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 679 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,588 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | idk | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | Saitama | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | IKNOWDEWAY | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Huddogrump | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | silver 1 | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Saitama | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | IKNOWDEWAY | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Huddogrump | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | silver 1 | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | mole | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | idk | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Saitama | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | mole | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | silver 1 | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | idk | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Saitama | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | mole | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | silver 1 | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | +2.82 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | idk | +0.43 | 57 | 39 |
| #3 | silver 1 | -0.59 | 49 | 54 |
| #4 | Huddogrump | -1.25 | 28 | 59 |
| #5 | IKNOWDEWAY | -1.83 | 72 | 39 |





