








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 18% |
| Smokes | 672 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 736 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,929 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | IKNOWDEWAY | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Huddogrump | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Saitama | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | mole | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | IKNOWDEWAY | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Huddogrump | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Saitama | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | mole | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Saitama | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | mole | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | 430 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Saitama | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | mole | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Huddogrump | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KSLife | +2.92 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | idk | +0.47 | 57 | 39 |
| #3 | IKNOWDEWAY | -1.64 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | Huddogrump | -1.85 | 36 | 62 |
| #5 | mole | -2.91 | 18 | 49 |





