








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 213 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 914 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,437 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBangBuss | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | sauce | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Shubenator | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | OldStove | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | hotdog | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lou Sputthole | 38% | 90 |
| #9 | Lag | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | BooskiBro | 37% | 145 |
| #11 | essentially ape | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | AAABAAAJSS | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou Sputthole | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | BooskiBro | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | OldStove | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | NumbSkull | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | sauce | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BooskiBro | 552 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Lou Sputthole | 225 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Seff | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | AAABAAAJSS | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | OldStove | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sauce | +4.56 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | essentially ape | +3.00 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | BooskiBro | +2.56 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | AAABAAAJSS | +0.80 | 43 | 64 |
| #5 | Lag | -0.23 | 38 | 55 |





