








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4801 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4746 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4596 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4002 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,045,150 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | bilbus | 60% | 235 |
| #10 | ABCDZNUTZ | 58% | 57 |
| #11 | the diddler | 55% | 42 |
| #12 | bozo | 55% | 77 |
| #13 | ye🅿31 | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbus | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Lethal | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Carrot | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | bozo | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ARMY|OF|JUAN | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbus | 612 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Carrot | 262 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | bozo | 255 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | ABCDZNUTZ | 252 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | kișkacăt 小猫 | 250 | 0.16 | 6 min |





