








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 950 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1196 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1455 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 799 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,876 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 46% | 125 |
| #2 | sellout | 42% | 93 |
| #3 | Fred | 41% | 70 |
| #4 | JobeWan | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | GabeMi | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sellout | 42% | 93 |
| #3 | Fred | 41% | 70 |
| #4 | JobeWan | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | GabeMi | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Its_Salty[ST] | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 23 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | sellout | 14 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | GabeMi | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Fred | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 354 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fred | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | sellout | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | GabeMi | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Its_Salty[ST] | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | +0.36 | 68 | 55 |
| #2 | mOCHA | +0.29 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | GabeMi | +0.16 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | sellout | -0.79 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | Fred | -1.24 | 50 | 53 |





