








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 987 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2497 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2317 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1084 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,298 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ultrA | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | soso37c | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | oweur | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Shadow | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | soso37c | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | oweur | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Shadow | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Hugimo-kun | 50% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 34 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | oweur | 19 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Hugimo-kun | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Shadow | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | soso37c | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hugimo-kun | 102 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shadow | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | oweur | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ultrA | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | +1.54 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | soso37c | +1.32 | 60 | 40 |
| #3 | ultrA | +0.98 | 50 | 52 |
| #4 | High Dope. | +0.03 | 33 | 53 |
| #5 | oweur | -0.02 | 51 | 38 |





