








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 893 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1012 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 675 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,197 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dab | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | s i d o | 46% | 98 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | og bobby johnson | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dab | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | s i d o | 46% | 98 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | og bobby johnson | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | og bobby johnson | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | dab | 3 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 202 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | og bobby johnson | 70 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | dab | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | +3.46 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | +1.17 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | dab | +0.52 | 80 | 31 |
| #4 | reggiecoupons | -1.52 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | og bobby johnson | -3.73 | 37 | 52 |





