








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2098 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1945 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2269 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,353 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 44% | 73 |
| #2 | reggiecoupons | 40% | 30 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 36% | 85 |
| #4 | Two-Six | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 44% | 73 |
| #2 | reggiecoupons | 40% | 30 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 36% | 85 |
| #4 | Two-Six | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 15 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Two-Six | 7 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | reggiecoupons | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 273 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | s i d o | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Two-Six | 72 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | reggiecoupons | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | +4.02 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | +1.48 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | Two-Six | -0.66 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | reggiecoupons | -1.72 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | og bobby johnson | -1.92 | 47 | 56 |





