








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 45% |
| Smokes | 19 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,097 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reggiecoupons | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | DLUX | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Raijin Sama | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | s i d o | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Raijin Sama | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | s i d o | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 33% | 15 |
| #6 | Two-Six | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | og bobby johnson | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | reggiecoupons | 3 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | og bobby johnson | 1 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Raijin Sama | 1 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Two-Six | 31 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #4 | reggiecoupons | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | og bobby johnson | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raijin Sama | +3.46 | 94 | 49 |
| #2 | s i d o | +3.44 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Two-Six | +2.71 | 88 | 40 |
| #4 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | +0.37 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | dab | -0.68 | 79 | 28 |





