








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2549 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3435 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2743 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2095 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,018 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 51% | 233 |
| #2 | Raijin Sama | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | reggiecoupons | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | DLUX | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | Two-Six | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Raijin Sama | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | reggiecoupons | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | DLUX | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | Two-Six | 42% | 60 |
| #6 | og bobby johnson | 36% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 22 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Two-Six | 15 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Raijin Sama | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | og bobby johnson | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | DLUX | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | 594 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Two-Six | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Raijin Sama | 122 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | og bobby johnson | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | DLUX | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | +2.09 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Raijin Sama | +0.58 | 94 | 57 |
| #3 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | +0.55 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | DLUX | +0.17 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | Two-Six | -1.24 | 70 | 57 |





