








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 203 | 30% |
| Smokes | 205 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $59,372 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sorairo | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ilililililil | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | kou | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | 天球、彗星は夜を跨いて | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Si-A- | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | tomo | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | ヨネハライスシャワー | 50% | 10 |
| #12 | nenenebtbt | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | bucci | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | siX | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dial | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bucci | 46 | 0.47 | 2 min |
| #2 | ヨネハライスシャワー | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Si-A- | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | sorairo | 22 | 0.56 | 1 min |
| #5 | nenenebtbt | 21 | 0.16 | 1 min |





