








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8636 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5272 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8185 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6165 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,505 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoppy | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | ✪Traxs | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | Crispy | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | Arrowhead | 52% | 117 |
| #5 | Saints | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 24 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | Arrowhead | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ✪Traxs | 13 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | RJC- | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | life | 11 | 0.0120 |





