








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6761 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4984 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3227 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4891 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,704,872 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Grey- | 52% | 117 |
| #7 | A Waffle | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Verbal | 51% | 101 |
| #9 | RJC- | 51% | 39 |
| #10 | EDM | 51% | 43 |





